You burn and cut my skin, I can’t feel a thing until it stings, it brings nothing, blood rings, wounded, trying to sing out as you attempt to kettle me in, you suppress my expression, oppress my impression, delude my free will, I gave you and gave up everything your list mentioned, you were my guided fate back in the day you had my full affection, making plans for our safe escape we deliberated a calibration, you selected education and I chose liberation but somewhere we lost each other along the way, now I have blisters because it’s from you I’m trying to run away, missing the clean breadth of the wind I’m on the cusp of making my way to her, on the brink of really breathing, and somehow you return to suffocate my inspiration, melting collaborations into infinite space.
I’m thinking this ship is sinking, I wanna kiss her feelings, but I’m too afraid to let you go, balancing out, up and down, all the risks that might be involved, stuck between a hard place I’m not afraid to admit I’m too scared of the unknown, working out the motions, and emotions, you’re destructive, you’re killing and halting, you’re lemon salting, my papercuts enslaving me to your cult still peppered by your fragrant flow, there’s bigger pictures but you capture me with the nook in your shoulder, and disfigured shadows, this hold on me is ridiculous, you’ve got to let me go. I own my soul. And she’d be delicious, and still I think about why I can’t let you go. You’re my familiar, my comfort, you sent for me and I consented you to enter my arrested development, whispered for you to come into my fort, my true thoughts I ignored and now discontent fragments and decentres my true goals…
I fear your tongue’s insincere, it appears the water’s caught us much too deep, caused us more than too much grief, this negative energy’s concealing your greed for diminishing my feelings but I know they’re real, you’re a menace to my heart here, only for show, you love the power and every time the story ends, you let me go and I start from scratch, alone, humming low. I love you though, it cuts me up but I don’t know who you are, anymore, you’re not god, anymore, you’re never sure, anymore, and I’m sitting on the kitchen floor daydreaming about caressing and interlocking jaws, wondering which one to shut down, which one holds the cure.
Miming through real tears, too much to hear and revolution in piece coloured bracelets is knock knock knocking my door, I hear her soothesays in a million ways in each sunbeam and every moonwave, she’s miles away and my angel waits, she’s battling my demons straight, up never strays she’s with me and I’m capable, that’s not even the debate but I’m still frustrated it’s to your traits I’m drawn to stay, waking up to the same dawn, I told her I’m drawing strength but she knows I’m trying with you, again. I’m hoping she won’t set sail and leave without me come what may to make me strong, at the same time I don’t know how long I can give her lyrics to the same song;
…and how many times will she wait for me after every time I’m gone.