[the last meal]
You set me up in a city of gold, I lay now, in rubble with only the cold. Imploding. Words are hard to find in amongst plagued scolding designs, I saw all the same scalding signs yet my heart continued to nurture my smiling face blind. Emotions, ill, diseased with released sickness which can’t be defined, indeed an accidental fine find relieves my compass which was hitherto demoralised. Autopsy of my collapse which I shall take in my stride, striking a candle with atomic collide staying strong in the wind as ground zero slides. I decline your invitation, I reject your request for pacifying accusations, I wed myself to an interpretation that doesn’t need you to speak.
The truth I unwittingly seek, unwillingly leads me to the key within your anonymous sleep. Keeping your secret from me, kind in might repaying unkind for weeks. I visualize an equalizer measuring deceit, swallowing meditation because medication defeats the purpose of this feat. It’s definitely an entwined dine, there’s no escaping it this time. Come mitted, I thought you were mine with every breath you inclined, except you committed offences crossing sacred lines, opened every pore in my shine, downed fences and all the outside died: adorned with affection versus access denied.
Fate and hate, quite amusing how they rhyme and the missing letter, a muse for another blind time. In short, my historical fallen hero rots as a corpse in the depth of my broken mind. Games. Confiding lies. Tears in worship playing against my tide, falling behind. In the event of my demise. Dry whispers caught up on the edge of deprived light. I shall take away these sides, a shapeless flower navigating through your crimes. Warship, devouring our upon hour. Infinite pride. Smiling with your shy. Teary-eyed. Shut it down now. Drowning, in an ocean’s inch. Pinch me, am I dreaming? No darling, this is it. Sucker punch fist. Nightmare kiss. Savage bliss. You are toxic. So everyone, is killed. In the silence, even oxygen stills for distilled forensics licking masquerades for your own benefit, I aim mass grenades at your lily livered will.
I knew your pattern, I’ve seen your shades, you continue to obey this endless game of charades. Damaged lactate allows for your age, irregular mandates pay homage to a deranged sage. This is wreckage, avoiding any scandalous messages, removing fixtures at the drop of strewn fetishes. And you made it. Gave it. Tomb raider fallacy. Abstract philosophy. Ego personality. Deluded phallic monstrosity; ridiculous stigmatic prepostrity. Re: dick you less. Re: dick you lust. Read dick you lost. Seething. See things you led me to believe in, visible I didn’t see be, fore. Sight and instinct. Distinctive skin tinted. Thinking, it was nothing. No thing it is but this, vindictive.
Protection from hurt. I must have misheard. Succinct merciful layers stealing feeling and I’m still not cured. Prayers for healing, revealing blood I thought, coercing nought after nought. Turns out to be hate two oh, raining without bows. Painting water colours with oily sediments little did I know. Pre wreck exquisite, and down we must go. Dishonest sun of an itch, bewitching me into a starry-eyed marred misty fit with burnt fingertips and cuticles peeled back to the bone. Stick shifts, cuts inside my heart so much so that even my veins misfit leaving me to bleed out into the empty snow. You caused this. So I’m fixing it.
Serenity in a shrine for only me, and all the while, I was in sanity, I couldn’t dream. Eat. Breathe. Stripped unnecessarily. Crest-fallen scent, I ban this crescent from my presence. Each seventh heaven is a heinous hell. Ricocheted from obliterated mess into a consecutively, irreverent deliberate stress. Stench of your breath, underneath your caress and it was you, when it should have been my voodoo. Absolution. I laugh when yesterday my soul actually died. I throw my head back and realise, it all makes sense and you thought you had me hypnotised. Every spoken word, each daggered attack. Detached. Mimicking promises instead of acting facts. Devoted. De voted. Cross against my name. Demoted. An hour glass breaking barriers of shame. Pawn and his dame. Player ordained in conscious blame, meandering with you. Cackling heckles cursing, coursing true. Destroyed in every sense and touch and taste, to even repeat my name as yours and set dates, when you already had one cast in stone. Alone. When rationality wants to win but the truth is plain to see. Stain me deaf, in an effort to hold and entangle me. Strangling deeds keeping me unfree, your random ransom.
So I ran, dumb struck and ran some, away.