Sometimes I have to travel miles
to lock myself off from the world
sometimes I can make absent
my thoughts in a second
but if the same thoughts return
then they weren’t really forgotten
and even if I travel to the ends of the earth
the same recurring thoughts
still persist, am I trapped in a world
where I am my own limitation?
spontaneous and passionate
instead listless and dull
no more glitter and gold
just bland black emptiness
boundaries are there to be crossed
but self-made boundaries are torturous
self doubt and paranoia, insomnia
and then too much sleep without dreams
when will my tired eyes surrender?
Excellent! Sometimes I’m perfectly happy with my lot and at other times, I wish I could leap out of my body, my life and be somewhere else, someone else. It’s finding that balance between one extreme and another. I don’t think I’ve mastered that yet.
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There is no balance, we are always in the deep end!
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